Success in Surrender

I’ve been saying it to friends for months, and now it is official: my theme for this year is “surrender.”  When I told this to my mother-in-law recently, she was kind of appalled.  ”Oh, don’t say that!” she exclaimed, thinking I meant “giving up.”  ”No, I mean surrender in a good way, in a letting-go-of-what-we-cannot-control way,” I explained.

And again, our holiday week proved how much I need this theme in my life this year.  So, our tradition of cleaning out the clutter in our house over Thanksgiving was, as I suspected, not so easy with infant and toddler.  Toddler, by the way, who decided to choose this week to make a protest by coming into our room at all hours of the night, each night of this week, and crawl into our bed and wake us and the baby.  So, ha. Haha. Hahahahahahahaha.  Having time and energy and hands to clean out the house, as we’ve done in years past?  Not so much.

Still, do I feel that this week was a failure?  Heck, no!  As I type this on Saturday night, I see much success in this holiday week.  Why?  Surrender. What do I mean?  Here are some examples:

1. DH and I made a conscious decision on Day 2 of holiday week that it was more important that we focus on taking care of ourselves this week than sticking to our tradition of decluttering the house.  He surfed.  I lunched with a friend, took a long morning walk.  We lunched together one day.  We finally got to watch our Netflix-ed Eli Stone episodes a couple nights.  Baby steps (well, big ones in a year of new baby, needy toddler, teacher of the year craziness, and continuing “when was my last shower?” wonderings), but this choice fed our souls more than a clean house would’ve.

2.  Even so, we still got the fridge cleaned out.  And we see that as a small victory.

3. The toddler in the night thing was really not fun. Not fun at all.  It drove us sleep-deprived adults to ugly bickering with each other at 2 a.m.  And, then the next day, we got away for lunch and got to talk like grown-ups (thanks for the nudge, Vicki!), and we came to some big epiphanies, and to some “surrender” together.  We had to fess up on how we’ve been dealing with some stuff in our lives this year, and once we did, all was released and the air is clear.  There was much singing in the house today.

4.  We also decided to “surrender” to said toddler, in a way.  Not give in, but surrender.  Create an alternative for her — a nice little bed on the floor of our room, and tell her she is welcome to it.  Stop fighting her, stop telling her (consciously and subconscously) she is not welcome.  Accept her in, but on different terms.  Funny enough, this was yesterday, and last night she slept in her own room through the whole night, then came in to our room at the beautifully late hour of 6 a.m. and crawled silently and happily into her little floor bed, then laid there until I went to her and whispered that it was morning and we could go downstairs.  The baby slept till 7.  (Cue the angel choir: “aaaa-lelujah!”)  Knock wood for tonight, but I think we’re on the right track.

So, perhaps the week did not go quite as planned, or quite as in years past. Perhaps there are still large stacks of papers everywhere, clothes piled on the washer, and the holiday decorations aren’t going up quite yet.  But, I still feel some sense of success.  We practiced surrender, and we actually got a bit more sense of control, in the deeper sense, than if we’d forced our clean-out agenda. We made progress with ourselves, with each other, and with the kids.  Tiny inches of progress, but that is how we move forward, right?  One tiny inch at a time.  And celebrating those tiny inches is just what Having Enough is all about.

So, instead of being frustrated that our house is still cluttered, I am going to be content that our minds and the intangibles in our home are a tad less cluttered instead.  And that is enough.

Happy end-of-holiday weekend, everyone.  Hope yours was a good one.

Living True Holiday Values: An Interview With Vicki Hoefle

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I am so looking forward to our little family’s new tradition of the past few years.  Instead of overindulging, my husband and I clean out — clean out our house, our cupboards, our piles, load up the donation bins, make a simple vegan meal on the holiday and turn the tables on the traditional glut-fest that kicks off the holiday season.

We get oddly giddy at the thought of our Thanksgiving week clean-out, saying for months ahead of time, “We’ll get to clean out that closet over Thanksgiving.”  It is so liberating, and we have so far ended each Thanksgiving week that  we’ve done this feeling more relaxed and clear-headed.

Now, I’m honestly not sure if we will be very productive in our cleaning out this year at all, with an infant and toddler in the house, so we are probably going to have to lower our expectations and be happy if we get to one room rather than the whole house. But, still, we will be in the simplicity spirit, and we are loving this new tradition for our family.

Another mom I am getting to know — the parenting guru (and mother of five) I mentioned recently, Vicki Hoefle of Parenting on Track — recently wrote on her online parent coaching forum that she, too, decided early on in her time of mothering five kids to avoid the traditional holiday and birthday glut as well.  So, I sent her my post on “No-Gift Birthday Parties” (from 2007 and to date still my most popular post ever!) and she sent me one of the most validating emails of the year, explaining how successful this has been for her family.

So, I asked Vicki if I could interview her about this birthday/holiday stuff for Having Enough, and I’m happy to say that she agreed.  I am so inspired by what she had to say, as I am each time I correspond with her and watch another of her classes on DVD.  Why?  Because she is all about defining our values, then living by them.  And this fits perfectly into the journey I’m on with Having Enough, and with each day as I strive to live a true and meaningful life.  From what I have seen so far, Vicki is a shining example of this.

Picture her as a straight-shooter, Mae West-style, with a sly grin, a quick barb, and a loving heart  (check out these videos of her parenting course to see her “live”). Anyway, here’s our interview:

MPK:  So, Vicki, tell me what the winter holidays look like at your house.

VH: Thanksgiving is always the same. It is low key, and it is about coming together and preparing for the season. I try to cook something nontraditional, which I’ve done for about 15 years now. Because it is the beginning of the season, I try to create a peaceful, thoughtful and intentional four days. I gather the family together on Wednesday night and we talk about the next four days together — how we will cook, when we will cook, when dinner will be served, what our theme for the year might be.

We also begin decorating for Christmas. Why so early? Because when I am 92 I will not be a cat lady, I will be the Christmas lady. I love, love, love decorating. I love the lights, the music, the smells of December. In Vermont, it’s especially magical because of the snow and the ice and the glitter of the natural world.

Christmas for our family varies. The last two holidays we have traveled abroad to visit two of our children, one in Chile and one in Argentina. It was an amazing way to spend the holidays — mass in Spanish, empanadas for Christmas dinner. Oh, just amazing when I think back on it. This is something we will continue to do and eventually add the volunteering component into the mix.

Traditionally, though, it goes something like this: Decorations that create a magical feel in the house. Music, music and more music all day and well into the evening. No shopping. We stopped buying presents for the kids when they were about 5, 6, 7, 8 or 9 – I can’t really recall, but it was early on.

A tradition in my family of origin is the stockings, and so I do get a little carried away with the stocking stuffers, but we do try to buy things the kids need and throw in a few surprises. For example, mustard for a son who slathers it on everything. I think this is a reminder to him that we “know” him. We are paying attention to his life. You can’t imagine the smiles that these kinds of gifts generate.

We all pool our money and contribute to the Heifer Project as a way to give back and make a donation in the name of all our family members. In fact, one year the kids pooled all their money and purchased an Ox all on their own. I knew then that they understood the meaning behind the holidays — gratitude, giving, etc.

The holidays are a non-stress time for me. I am so happy I took the time when the kids were young, to rethink this whole holiday idea. It has worked remarkably well for our family.

MPK:  That is wonderful! (BTW, my brother and I also donate to Heifer International – a non-profit that provides livestock to families in developing countries – in lieu of giving gifts to each other’s kids. The kids like to help choose which animal to donate for each cousin, and we talk about how each animal can help a family make a living.) Anyway, this is exactly the kind of approach we are trying to take to the holidays as well – I love hearing about it.

Now, Vicki, what about birthdays in your house?

VH: Well, birthdays are about kids and parents. We did away with birthday parties fairly early on with the kids. They were nightmares. So, instead we have the kids pick their favorite meal, they help make it, they pick their favorite dessert, they help make it. Then, over dinner, I tell their birth story, in as much detail as I can. We get out their baby book and we celebrate their life. It is amazing.

When the kids got older, say 13 or thereabout, their interest in birthdays was reignited. We agreed as a family that if they could organize the party and pay for the party, they could do anything they wanted. By then, they were thoughtful and reasonable about it, so it was never a problem. One year I flew two of my daughters to Arizona for a 16^th. It was amazing. They bought their own plane tickets, we stayed in our condo and we had the most glorious three days together. One year my husband took our oldest son up to Canada for a lacrosse tournament with a bunch of his friends. He was on cloud nine for months.

MPK: As I’ve told you, my blog still gets discovered each week by at least one person searching for “no-gift birthday parties.” (I hope those people hop from here to Birthdays Without Pressure, too.) This seems to be a big issue for parents today.

VH: It’s huge. I think most parents know the birthday thing, and the Christmas thing, has gotten out of hand. There is too much stuff. People are looking for ways to do it differently, ways they can live with, and their friends and family can live with. A friend of mine started a great site called Inlu that addresses this concern as well.

MPK:  So, Vicki, how did you decide some 20 years ago to shun (modern, consumer-driven) tradition and do things differently as you did?

VH: Hmmm. First, I don’t think I made the decision to shun modern, consumer-driven tradition. I think I decided to challenge it first. It also helps that – if you know me, you know this — I don’t really care what anyone thinks. I ask questions, I probe, I am curious, I challenge things that don’t make sense and I base my decision-making on facts, not fiction.

When you attend a birthday party and all you see is crying, gnashing of teeth, too much of everything, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to make an accurate assessment of the situation. The problem is usually that parents don’t have the courage to follow through with their convictions. Never been an issue with me. LOL.

MPK:  Can you tell me more about what your kids thought of all this when they were young, and what do they think now that they are older (ages 16 to 20)?

VH: It was never a problem with the younger kids. Really, I don’t remember any upset over birthdays or holidays and the fact that we celebrated them differently.

The truth is, now that I think about it, kids want meaning in their life. If they get addicted to “meaningful events” instead of societal fads, they develop a taste for it. Our kids developed a taste for more refined experiences.  As they got older, they instinctively balanced meaning and fun. Perfect.

MPK: I have a zillion more questions, but since this is a blog interview and it’s getting long, I’ll wrap it up with just one more: What advice would you give parents who are feeling pressure around the holidays and birthday parties?

VH: Honestly, I’d say, “Get over it!” I know it sounds harsh, but parents have backbone. They aren’t wimps. They can handle a little scuffing up now and then if it brings some clarity and choices to their lives.

For their own happiness, I would tell parents this: if you are following the herd, if you are making decisions out of fear, then you are missing the best part of life. The CHOICE part of life.

Eva Dreikurs Ferguson said once in a workshop – “Only those people who can identify their strengths and their mischief making (neurosis) are at choice. Everyone else is like cattle.”  I could not agree more. If you are going to choose to attend birthday parties, do it consciously, not unconsciously. There is a big difference.

So, for me, there is no right or wrong, better or worse, there is this idea of making informed decisions that move you “towards” what you want in life. I moved “towards” meaningful experiences, not junk. I made the decision once, not a million times, and then I created a plan for “living” that decision.

Also, I tell parents to be gentle with themselves as they make these important decisions and changes. We’re trying to turn a steamliner here, it’s not a speedboat. We’re not going to turn it in 10 minutes, but we can turn it, by living at choice and sticking to it.

Just think:  Peaceful, confident, fun, engaged, relaxed. That is what you get when you make informed decisions.

MPK:  Ah, have I mentioned that you inspire me, Vicki?  A Having Enough hero, for sure.  I can’t think of a better way to kick off the holiday season than this interview.  Thank you, Vicki!

Hey, you’re out there!

OK, so I’m thoroughly inspired that more than 50 people have visited Having Enough today — and especially thrilled that my “little” cousin Nicole, now making her way as a college graduate and fabulous woman in the Windy City, left her first comment here!  Thanks, you made my day.

I’d love to hear from anyone reading, on anything you’d like to toss out in terms of redefining success in today’s world, or in your tiny corner of it.

The success I’m working on this week: being excited rather than terrified when I look at 10 hours in front of me with my two kids (age 9 months and 3 1/2) and no plans. Um, yeah.  That shift in consciousness will be a huge success for me at this moment in time.

More soon — and a hint, I will be revisiting the popular “no-gift birthday party” topic, and the upcoming holidays, with a very special Having Enough guest…

 

Nine Months In, Nine Months Out

I took a walk today.  I went out the back gate of our suburban, Southern California townhouse, I rounded the corner out of our neighborhood and wound down the sidewalk through the canyon and the eucalyptus grove.  I looked up at the blue sky, felt the vibrations of the cars whizzing past, listened to the birds and the sounds of middle schoolers at recess on the other side of the canyon, noticed the bees hovering, the drying dog shit in the dirt, the single bird of paradise peaking out of a bush.  I imagined the wildness of this canyon before all of the rows of terra cotta-roofed houses were here, thinking of the Little House in the Big Woods books my daughter is loving right now.  I smiled, I breathed.

I have one person to thank for that much-needed walk: Vicki Hoefle, founder of Parenting on Track, an insightful and life-altering program my husband and I are participating in from the comfort of our living room.  I am coming to see Vicki as a sage for parents like me, as I benefit from her online coaching that is part of the home program package.  She told me to un-leash myself from the laundry today while the sitter was here and take that walk.  So wise.  Thanks, Vicki.

And I am eternally grateful to Jena Strong, life coach and author of the fabulous Bullseye, Baby! blog, for turning me on to Vicki and her program, and also for a 20-minute phone conversation a few weeks ago that I truly see as the hand that helped me climb out of the hole I’ve been in for the past few months.  As an erstwhile coach myself, I see the gift Jena has — she truly listens, she knows just when to interject a common experience, when to validate, when to sigh, and then she moves the conversation to action exactly when action is needed.  I can’t wait to work with her more in the future.

So, yes, this hole. I suppose it is the extended post-partum, really.  The nine months of gestating my new role as mother of two.  Those of you who are fellow writers and fellow birth-givers know how the hormones shut down the writing brain for a while, and how life becomes a blur of being in life, reacting, rather than writing about it.  Jena told me she started her blog when her second child was nine months old.  Thank you for that, Jena.

So, if I have any readers left at all, I am going to try to post more for you to read and ponder with me in coming months.  Or perhaps new readers will come.  I have more thoughts on success and failure to process — as I have been faced with my own overachiever demons once again, this time in the realm of parenting. Parenting two people.  Talk about having to redefine success.

I am grateful to have sages like Vicki Hoefle and Jena Strong to support me on this next stage of my Having Enough journey.   I am eager to see where it takes me, but I’m sure wherever it does, it will have interesting scenery — complete with eucalyptus trees and dog shit and children’s voices across the canyon.

Pretending to Be Asleep

I was doing a bit of research on Native American proverbs and came across this one from the Navajos:

“You cannot wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.”

It really struck me, and it’s been coming back to me for days now.  It’s the whole idea of being accountable to our own enlightenment.  If we know there is another, more humane or healthier or environmentally sounder, way we can behave, if we do not behave that way, aren’t we “pretending to be asleep”? Isn’t that worse, in a way, than truly being unaware?

I just read the novel, American Wife (just for fun, not a review–boy,  it sucked me in!).  The tale of a first lady, inspired by Laura Bush, focused in part on the psychological dilemma of how accountable she is for her husband’s actions that she did not speak up about, how responsible she is for what she does not say or do with her personal power.  Brilliantly told, the book had me thinking about this concept a lot.

On a cultural level, not unlike bystanders in such social tragedies as the Holocaust or the Tuskegee Experiment — how responsible are we when we see something happening, something we can do, but ignore it?

On an Earth level, why aren’t we all composting (why aren’t I? buy the composter for the patio already, Meeg!) or driving electric cars, or taking five-minute showers, by now? How many of us truly don’t know we should be doing this to help preserve the planet?

Even on a mundane, personal level, if I know I could be eating healthier or exercising (ahem) and I don’t, aren’t I also “pretending to be asleep”?  I’m speaking to a wellness expert tomorrow about a possible collaborative project, so I’m really thinking about the fact that I am currently deep in the mommy syndrome of taking care of the children and not so much myself these days.  Of course, opening myself to this project is also hopefully a way to nudge myself awake again on the personal wellness front.

It’s all about being awake, and it’s all connected, isn’t it?  It’s all connected…

Greenwashing

I’m a fan of Zoe Weil, author and creator of Humane Education.  Today she hit the nail on the head with her critique of cause marketing (you know, when you buy a product where some of the proceeds go to a charity).  I am definitely a partaker in the cause marketing machine.  I often chose the product — the organic t-shirt at my favorite eco-store or the salad dressing at the natural food store — that has a give-back.  But what Zoe wrote is so obvious — and actually so much truer to what I am trying to do with Having Enough — that it has given me a major a-ha moment.

I have been feeling lately that I need to cut down on consumption, and assuaging this nagging feeling by buying green or “charitable” products is fooling myself.  It’s still stuff that I likely can live without.  I’m still buying, still adding stuff to an overstuffed cabinet.  Just because the stuff seems “worthy” doesn’t mean that I should get the stuff.  If I’m honest, I wouldn’t necessarily need all the stuff anyway, so cause marketing gives an excuse to buy stuff I may not have bought.

Zoe uses the term “greenwashing” in her post.  Forgive me if I’ve been under the rock of pregnancy/childbirth this past year, but it was a new term to me.  The concept, though, is familiar.  The idea that green is hip — great, except it is often being taken advantage of to fuel the consumer machine.

Last year, I was offered a shot at a lucrative writing assignment for a disposable diaper company who wanted a “lite green mom” to blog regularly about eco issues for the diaper company’s web site.  Did they have a new disposable diaper that was biodegradable or at least made without chlorine bleach, or some new alternative diaper? What was green about their disposable diapers? I inquired.  No response, and no job for me.  I deduced that “lite green” meant someone who was willing to promote the worst kind of landfill-clogging disposable diapers without asking these (obvious!) questions. But, if they have a “green mom” blog, people could somehow feel better about buying their un-green product??  Greenwashing, yes.

Once again, I see the need to look beyond the obvious.  I saw clearly the hypocrisy on the writing assignment, but I had not before stopped to think deeply about the “other side” of cause marketing and my own role in it.  Living and learning.  And next time I’ll think twice…

Death Becomes Us

I have been peripheral to a fair amount of death lately.  Two of my very closest friends lost their fathers in the past few months, one after an excruciating illness and another in a shockingly sudden way. A college friend called last week and told me she lost her stepmother.  A dear new friend lost her grandfather last week, and I see my own grandparents are moving farther from their former selves each day.  Meanwhile, I follow the blog of another friend, who is dealing with the loss of her husband; and today my family acknowledges the birthday of our beloved Aunt Phyllis, who succombed to ALS just weeks after my daughter was born.

I was also surprised and touched to receive a comment this week from Jen Ballantyne of “The Comfy Place,” a blog I follow with a lump in my throat each time I read.  I’ve never met Jen, who lives in Australia, but I have mentioned her here before, as her documenting of her daily battle with terminal cancer, and her emotional agony at the thought of leaving her young son, is one of the most poignant stories I’ve ever read.  Blogging puts her day-to-day struggle in real-time in such a way that she has gained a ton of supporters from around the globe, all of us whom are so invested in her survival against the odds that humanity and community are highlighted in ways we rarely see these days.

Then, of course, there is the constancy of death surrounding us all — the wars, violence, and disease we see on the news each night.  And, yet, we have trouble talking about death in our culture. Unlike the parades of calaveras on Dia De Los Muertos to our south, we tend to whisper furtively about death, perhaps to avoid its grasp, or to put on a strong face and “move on” here in the United States.

In my own home, we have yet to describe death to our three-year-old.  We are somehow protecting her from it until it gets close enough that we must engage with it, and until then we tell her the dog next door went to live somewhere else where she is well and not sick anymore.  Do I think this is a great idea?  I don’t know.  Ironically, this is a child with a life-threatening medical condition (who has a father with a similar condition), and yet she is so far from understanding what that means.  Perhaps ignorance is bliss at three, and especially with her particular situation.  We do not want to instill fear in her.  But perhaps she is closer to the circle of life than we give her credit for, given that she is so new to this Earth.  Perhaps she would be less afraid than we are, if death was a more normal part of our culture and daily life.

Keeping ourselves removed from death somehow also removes us from life, doesn’t it?  If we allowed ourselves to be closer to it, to engage with it more fully and openly, would we perhaps live more consciously, enjoy each moment more, walk our talk more truly, speak our truths more loudly?  Would we be more connected with our souls or spirits, even our bodies?  Are hospice workers or doctors or soldiers more connected in these ways?  I’m sure it depends on the person, but I can only imagine that seeing death daily allows more opportunity to ponder the meaning of life.  Isn’t that part of why people love Grey’s Anatomy and all those hospital shows?  These shows’ stories let us engage with death and life — passively, of course — and have some catharsis.  Easier to cry about Izzie’s cancer than our uncle’s, perhaps?

This is all just musing, as usual, but there is something to the jolt of life I feel each time I engage with death.  There is something about death that we can use as a gift to the living.  It is the ultimate perspective.  The critical lesson. The great equalizer.  It is common to every one of us, eventually, from ladybugs to presidents.

None of this is new thinking, just my thinking today.  And, tomorrow, having written this, I will pay more attention and feel more gratitude.  That is becoming, and for today that is enough.

Double-Daring Girls

I know, it’s a lot of book posts lately, and this will be the last one for a while.  I just had to share a tidbit of a group email I received from Miriam Peskowitz (embarrasingly long ago, in April, but hey, new baby here!) about her latest book, The Double-Daring Book for Girls, which she co-authored with Andrea Buchanan.  I can attest to the fab-ness of this book, as I had the privilege of being Miriam’s story editor on her chapters last year, and I loved every word of it.  The book inspires me, and I can’t wait until my daughter is old enough to use it (cuz you “use” this book more than read it).

Reading over what Miriam wrote, I realized I had to share the Daring vision with more people, as it truly speaks to the Having Enough mentality, and I do believe will make our kids’ childhoods, and our world when they’re adults, better.  She wrote:

The Double-Daring Book for Girls continues the Daring vision. In its pages, girls don’t have to grow up so fast. Girlhood can be both smarter and more fun. There’s room for all girls to be who they are, and to resist some of the well-known social pressures they may feel.  A chapter on Friendship offers an alternative to the “mean girls” mentality. The Double-Daring world is a big place, with lots of room for girls, and all of us, to move and run and explore, and then, curl up with a good book when day is done.

It’s not often in history that girls and women have been encouraged to be daring. I’m proud that Double-Daring is part of that encouragement.

On a similar note, I urge you to check out this post — “Dear Pixar, From All The Girls With Band-Aids On Their Knees” – on NPR’s blog.  Part of creating a Having Enough world is having enough of stereotypes of our daughters (and sons!), and creating new visions of gender for a new tomorrow.

Enjoy!

Book Review Meets Real Life: Obama: The Historic Journey

Recently, when a friend mentioned she was going on a trip, our three-year-old replied nonchalantly, “Oh, are you going to meet The President?”  In her toddler world, it is normal for people to travel to meet The President.  As in, THE President.  Of the United States.  ”I’m going to meet Barack Obama someday,” she says casually.

Well, why not?  Her own daddy had the great honor of meeting President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama on the President’s 99th day in office a few weeks ago.   And, for my first-ever photo on this wordy blog, here is the proof, Alex (left),with Michelle and Barack Obama, and Tony Mullen, the 2009 National Teacher of the Year (Alex made the top 4 finalist round and still serves as 2009 California Teacher of the Year).

So, when MotherTalk called for bloggers to review Obama: The Historic Journey, a New York Times book for young readers, it seemed only fitting that I review it, given my new two degrees of separation and all.  Before I share my thoughts on the book, though, I’ll tell you Alex’s thoughts on the Obamas: genuine, down-to-earth, friendly, affectionate, like regular folks that we might be friends with.  Nice to hear.  (And my brother, who got my ticket to the Rose Garden, as I was back West with the newborn and toddler, said the same.)

And now for the book.  Here are my second, third and fourth photos ever posted on this wordy blog (yes, I am a bit technologically challenged!) because, truly, what is best about this book is the stunning collection of photographs of Obama’s journey.

Flipping through this glossy hardcover the day it arrived in the mail, both Alex and I were moved to near tears — the photography is simply world-class, capturing behind-the-scenes moments with emotion and a gut-punch clarity.  For the photos alone, this book is a keeper that will remain on my shelf through many a declutter purge, for sure.

The book editor in me has some quibbles with the text, which I think is fine, but misses its potential to be great.  It reads like a typical middle-grade textbook (I used to work for an educational publisher as an associate editor of middle grade textbooks and workbooks) — although I also found some of the terms used, yet left undefined, a bit off for the target age range (8-12).  However, it is not a textbook but a 95-page coffee table book, so it also reads as incomplete and a bit rough (rushed, perhaps?) at times.

I must say that, coming from the New York Times, there was a missed opportunity to make the text more thematically interesting than it is.  One chapter focuses on the behind-the-scenes decision-making on headlines and front-page stories at the NYT for the day after the historic election — I loved this (I’m also a former print journalist) and it’s something nobody else could write (as opposed to a basic summary of Obama’s parents, for example).  Couldn’t they have framed the whole book around how the newspaper got and presented all of these stories on Obama’s past and present?  Or used and showed different NYT headlines from the campaign? Might have made it a bit more unique and compelling for young readers.  When reading Amazon reviews of the adult version of this book, it seems more centered on the journalism as a theme — why don’t the kids get this, too?

The book does a good job of touching on many aspects of Obama’s background (much taken directly from his first book, Dreams From My Father, a great must-read, BTW!) and issues in the election, which I’m not sure all of the other Obama books do. But it also leaves some big questions hanging that a teacher or homeschooling parent must be prepared to answer (or help a student research) if actually using this book as a teaching tool.  (That can be good — I can imagine using it in homeschooling one day to spark further explanations and conversations about politics and Obama himself.)  It has some good reference visuals, too, such as the electoral votes map and McCain/Obama issues stances in columns.

In sum: Obama: The Historic Journey is a nice summary of the Obama 101 basics for young readers, though I wish there was more of a NYT stamp on it thematically, and the book’s photographs get an A+.  I could look at them over and over (and have).  Worth having on the shelf.

In closing: It’s particularly worth having these Obama images in our house, where we have this book placed next to Alex’s photo with the Obamas to remind us of this moment when our paths crossed the President’s. We still pinch ourselves when we think about Alex’s day in the Rose Garden with Obama, who makes us pinch ourselves constantly that our country has made this call for much-needed change.  Amen.

Once In a Lifetime

It’s been a blur of “once in a lifetime” moments around here these days, specifically for my husband, Alex, in the context of being named California Teacher of the Year. But he has been most generous in sharing these moments with as many people as possible.

Last night, Alex gave my dad a once-in-a-lifetime moment when he brought Dad out on the field at the San Diego Padres game to catch the ceremonial first pitch Alex threw. My dad was a catcher in his younger days, recruited by the then-Milwaukee Braves, but he chose instead to pursue the surer path of getting a higher education and having a family. What beautiful full circle it was last night for him to catch his first major league pitch, from his teacher son-in-law, on “education night” at the ballpark.

Last week, Alex met the Obamas at the White House (more on this soon!) and hung out at the Bidens’ house on Mass Ave (my old undergrad address) in Washington, D.C.  He gave my brother and his cousin a great memory, too, when he brought them along to meet the Prez (I stayed back West with the little ones) — also giving my brother a great story to share with my nephews for years to come.

But, my favorite “once in a lifetime” gesture of Alex these days may just be that he made the choice to pass up a 10-day educational trip to Japan this summer so he could be home with me and the kids.  He said, “I’ve had a crazy year of once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, and this trip could be another one. But I believe that it is also a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spend my time with my three-month-old, my three-year-old, and my wife, so I will not be taking the trip.”

And, with that, I believe we are back to the heart of Having Enough.